We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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