It's like a parade of train wrecks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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