So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
