my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
