who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
