...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
