omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
