Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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