At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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