if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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