i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
