Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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