carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
