If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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