Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
