Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
