At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
