oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
