im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
