two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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