Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
