Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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