Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
