i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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