Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
