I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
