what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize