she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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