She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Randomize
