I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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