if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
