i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
