You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
