"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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