If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
