Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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