Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Two words: blizzard sex
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
