So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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