Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
