I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
