I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
