I faked an abortion last night.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
