Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize