apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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