Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
