Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize