o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
