I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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