I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
