Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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