So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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