They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
