I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
