Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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