Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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