Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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