Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
