okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
