i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
