Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
