I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
