i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Come on in and take your pants off
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